My Mother

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She really is an interesting lady. She’s funny- if you know how to take her. Like this precious picture of her from the early 60’s? She is going to kill me! This half smile on her face she still makes to this very day!

Some might describe my mother as a little abrupt. A little abrasive even- she could take the polish right off a shiny bathtub. Speaks her mind. Tells it like it is. Absolutely the last person on earth to sugar coat anything.  Shoots from the hip, never looks back, offends many and never has any regrets. To quote Tim McGraw in the movie Blindside, ‘She’s like an onion- you’ve gotta peel her back one layer at a time.’.

But, people like her.

Sometimes I feel sorry for her daughter-in-laws. What you see is what you get. But they all know that. They are well adjusted.

She can be a little needy. Her phone messages are always urgent and end with ‘call me back ASAP’. Usually she just wanted to know how your day was.

She reminds me a lot of Weezer in the movie Steel Magnolias.

Where am I going with this? Let me set the stage for you. This is really funny!

A few weeks ago we had a surprise party for my father’s 55th birthday. As bellies settles after a scrumptious cookout and children headed out to play in the yard,  conversations gathered around the kitchen table. My aunt Wanda, who is visiting from out of state,  poses a question. (She is a real funny lady. Driest sense of sense of humor this side of the Mississippi River, but she gets us. And we get her.)

With a look on her face that says she is about to stir something up she asks me if I have a favorite child.

My response was something along the lines…. ‘we all know it is not nice to have a favorite’.

Two of my sister-in-laws and my sister chime in to let me know I missed a very very important conversation the day before. Apparently my mother acknowledged out loud that she has a favorite child… my sister, Amber.

I cross my arms, lean back in my chair and with a smile on my face I say ‘oh really? I knew it.’.

My mother quickly scrambles and begins to laugh (which she does when she is back peddling and feeling like the conversation has gone awkward). She does not miss a beat and says ‘but you are my famous daughter’.

‘Famous daughter? How am I your famous daughter?’

‘Well, you blog. You’re famous.’

‘Mother, I’m not famous. Blogging does not mean you’re famous. I’ve not been on Oprah, The Today Show or David Letterman.’

She sticks to it. With the same half smile on her face today as she first discovered as a young child.

Now don’t you fret or worry. It did not hurt my feelings one bit. I know my mother like the back of my hand. I know that most days out of the week, I really am her favorite… her favorite blogging daughter. And James is her favorite son. And Josh is her favorite son with glasses. And Jake is her favorite son who drives a tractor for a living. And Amber… obviously the all around favorite, but that is because she is the baby.

I get the baby thing. The baby of the family certainly holds a special place in your heart. But nonetheless, we all know where we stand.

Let’s fast forward to last week when my mother called me in the middle of the day. She called to tell me she officially became a follower of my blog. (This is huge as she really is technology challenged. If her car had too many gadgets on it she would never figure out how to find her way home from work each day.)

But.

But, she wanted to talk to me about my blog.

‘It’s gotten boring’ she says. ‘All the twin tips, Crystal, they just bore me. All the product reviews… I am just not into them. I want you to go back to writing about funny stuff. Things that make me laugh. Things about the kids. The crazy things that happen in your life.’

What is wrong with me? I completely forgot that I am blogging for my mother!

So today, my blog is dedicated to her. My funny blog and my funny bossy mother. And tomorrow, I am back to finding myself because quiet honestly, I really like the road I am on.

So there, Mom. A funny post… about you.

Enjoy.